Sunday, 7 April 2013

13.5 Jay's Back :)

I'm writing this post now (Sunday morning before my final attempt at 13.5). I thought it'd be fun to do this as a before and after style thing! I feel hungry, like a rabid dog on a leash desperate to devour this workout. I felt hungry the last time but feel like I only got a bite. NOW I WANT THE WHOLE THING AND I WANT IT BAD!

1st attempt score: 85

RD 1: 15 thrusters UB, 15 pull ups UB
RD 2: 16 thrusters (1 no rep), 13,2 pull ups
RD 3: 10,5 thrusters, 5,1,1,1,1,1

Where I went wrong: I think you rush because you want to make the time cap but actually as long as you're strict with your rest you can break (quite a lot actually based on the videos I've watched) and still make it. So the trick is to be aware of the time but not to panic and to break before you need to. My plan for this attempt is based off Julie Foucher's first attempt which worked for her.

2nd attempt score prediction: 150 (actual score 85)

RD 1: 15 thrusters UB, 8,7 pull ups (7 sec rest between pull ups)
RD 2: 15 thrusters UB, 8,7 pull ups (9 sec rest)
RD 3: 10,5 thrusters (8 sec rest) 8,7 pull ups (rest 7 secs between pull ups)

It's now 23.57 (over 12 hours later from when I started this post). Unfortunately things didn't go the way I'd hoped. I got the exact same score again despite changing my tactics. I didn't feel "gassed beyond belief" I was a little out of breath but able to keep pushing. The problem was the same. Got to the last set of pull ups and after 5 reps they went. When you can't string them out time just zips by and before I knew it the 4 minutes were gone. I was crestfallen, I was so sure (and still remain sure) that getting 90 reps in 4 minutes is within my capability. But why didn't it happen? Maybe a day between my 1st and 2nd attempt wasn't enough. Maybe the slightly interrupted sleep thinking about it all night played a factor. Maybe it was a combination of a few things. I do know that I did all the right things I could think of and that were within my power:

1) Nutrition: Eat well and regularly, took appropriate supplements at right intervals
2) Studied the workout: Watched videos of others, looked at blog posts, analyzed my last attempt
3) Mobility: Stretched and rolled out
4) Sleep: Went to bed at a reasonable time (it took me ages to get to sleep though and I kept waking up).
5) Visualized: I played the events in my head the way I wanted them to go over and over and whenever the thought of fear or failure appeared I replaced it with what I wanted to happen NOT what I didn't want to happen
6) Belief/motivation: I kept watching videos about motivation and how to succeed to inspire me.

I actually tried the workout a 3rd time about half an hour later. I got 71. I didn't expect to beat my score but I wanted to try at least. I didn't feel as disappointed after the 2nd try 85 as I did compared to the 1st. It was almost like I'd burnt out that emotion from having felt it so much. I knew I'd given it everything, I knew there wasn't a point in the workout I could say to myself "I COULD have kept going but I chose to rest." I simply reached the dreaded redzone again where my strength went and didn't return in time. The first thing I said was "At least I didn't get a worse score". I thought that was quite positive. I appreciated Dylan's comment about how Rich Froning had the similar scenario getting to the 12 minutes and although he pulled it off he looked mortal for a second in his fatigue. It made me think about perspectives and horizons. Should Khalipa have felt devastated for not having made it into the 12 minutes like Rich? Is his 12 minutes like my 8 minutes? He said at the end "I gave it my best and that's all I can do". That is absolutely true but despite the fact that afterwards I could say I'd given my best, the thought that my best had fallen short of my goal burns me up inside. It makes me feel so angry and disgusted. I deserved to get into those 8 minutes, I felt willing and able after the 4 like I had so much more in me if my dam pull ups had just lasted a bit longer!

I wanted to do it to prove to myself I could, I wanted to do it for the team, I wanted to do it to inspire others and I failed. It made me realise how threatening the fear of failure actually is. I don't think it should stop you from going after the things you want. You'll certainly never get them if you let it stop you. But if you do fail how do you deal with it when basically its a big fat slap in the face of "you tried and didn't succeed despite all your effort sucker! What you gona do now?!" I guess that is the million dollar question. And my only answer is this. If I couldn't achieve the above goals by getting that score, at least maybe in some way I could inspire by showing how my subsequent actions to the situation were those of a fighter and not a defeatist.

1) I did the workout again on the same day
2) Getting back in the gym and getting better
3) Writing this post
4) Helping others in whatever way I can

The one thing I did do that I set out to was secure my place in the regionals team for Black 5 (our gym). So I can't say that this wod was a complete failure. Maybe I did deserve more, maybe I did all the right things but sometimes things don't always go to plan. What's important is what you do in response to that. Do you give up? Or do you get back on your feet and keep moving forward? I know what Rocky would say ;) I thought about the "famous failures" and how Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team and now is one of the most legendary players ever! Your present circumstances don't mean they're always going to remain the same. You CAN change provided you're willing to go through all the shit and that doesn't just mean pain in workouts, it mean dealing with disappointment as well sometimes if you want to obtain victory and achieve your goals. Take pride in the little achievements along the way though.

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